A critical skill for success in life is to understand when to stop – stop speaking, stop working. The book “What Got you here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith” talks about 20 habits that you need to change for the next level of success. The practice of mindfulness in speaking helps you become the great leader you envision yourself to be.

The below caught my attention:
Instead of your “to-do” list, start with your “to stop” list: I have been making a to-do list since I was in 9th grade, and while the visualization of success has helped me. This comes as an eye-opener and common sense that there are areas about me that I need to stop. The “to-stop” list is equally, if not more important, as a “to-do” list.

Stop being a JERK

  1. Someone offers less than a brilliant idea in a meeting – DO NOT CRITICIZE
  2. Someone challenges one of your decision, DO NOT ARGUE or MAKE EXCUSES. Quietly consider it and say nothing.
  3. Someone makes a helpful suggestion, DO NOT REMIND THEM, YOU ALREADY KNEW. Thank them and say nothing more

Ways to offer thanks:
Thanks
Thanks, I hadn’t considered that
Thanks, you have given me something to chew on
Thanks, your have given me something to think about

As a people-manager, one has to consider the impact of their words and actions. The above may have been ignored while you were growing up the ranks as a minor issue, but these are the prime focus once you become a people manager.

Consider yourself in the shoes of a new joiner or an old timer who may be trying to work harder than they did in the past or an average person who wants to contribute or the smart cookie who wants to impress you with their ideas. The above is applicable at all times. Some helpful suggestion from the book has been to consider carefully a few set of questions before speaking:
Will the comment I am about to make:
– help our customers
– help our company
– help the person I am talking to
– help the person I am talking about
Don’t speak anything if the comment you are about to make, fails the test. While at the start it may sound painful, with practice it quickly becomes second nature.

Until next time

Ruchi